Jude (Beautiful Mine #2) Read online

  JUDE

  GIA DeLUCA

  COPYRIGHT 2015 GIA DeLUCA

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without written permission from the publisher or author. If you are reading this book and you have not purchased it or received an advanced copy directly from the author, this book has been pirated.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or, if an actual place, are used fictitiously and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The publisher does not have any control and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

  The author acknowledges copyrighted or trademarked status and trademark owners of the following words mentioned in this work of fiction: BMW, Abercrombie and Fitch,

  Edited by Wyrmwood Editing

  Cover design by Arijana Karcic with Cover It!

  Interior formatting by Michelle Hammond

  For my husband, for somehow loving the most imperfect person in the most perfect way.

  And for my children. May you always let love in, even when it seems like a most impossible task.

  Gia

  Beautiful Mine Series

  JULIAN (#1)

  JUDE (#2)

  JAMISON (#3) (Releasing January 2015)

  Sign up for my newsletter here!

  Or friend me on Facebook!

  JUDE

  I’m not worthy. I don’t deserve her. And I know it.

  Before he died, my brother asked me to take care of his young widow, and I agreed. And after my brother died, my mother asked me to dig up some dirt on the girl. I also agreed. I’ve been called lots of things in my day. An anomaly. A walking contradiction. A complicated asshole. But I’ve never been called someone’s hero… until her.

  EVIE

  I don’t understand him, and I sure as hell don’t understand what’s happening. He confuses me, and at times, I want to slap him and kiss him all at the same time. I didn’t even know he existed until that night he showed up at my door. Nothing makes sense anymore. All I know is he’s the most complex man I’ve ever met, and as much as I try to deny the way I feel about him, I’m powerless in the solace of his embrace. Our relationship may be inappropriate and unconventional, but it’s ours. And in a weird sort of way, he’s kind of my hero.

  But there are secrets and self-loathing behind his eyes, words left unspoken, and questions unanswered. I always thought Julian held the key to my future… until I met Jude.

  Fix You by Coldplay

  Accidental Thief by Matt the Electrician

  Set Fire to the Third Bar by Snow Patrol

  Take Me to Church by Hozier

  Elastic Heart by Sia

  Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes

  Aeroplane by Angus and Julia Stone

  Bella by Angus and Julia Stone

  Heart of Life by John Mayer

  Magic by Coldplay

  PROLOGUE (JULIAN)

  ONE

  TWO

  THREE

  FOUR

  FIVE

  SIX

  SEVEN

  EIGHT

  NINE

  TEN

  ELEVEN

  TWELVE

  THIRTEEN

  FOURTEEN

  FIFTEEN

  SIXTEEN

  SEVENTEEN

  EIGHTTEEN

  NINETEEN

  TWENTY

  TWENTY-ONE

  TWENTY-TWO

  TWENTY-THREE

  TWENTY-FOUR

  TWENTY-FIVE

  TWENTY-SIX

  TWENTY-SEVEN

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  TWENTY-NINE

  THIRTY

  THIRTY-ONE

  THIRTY-TWO

  THIRTY-THREE

  THIRTY-FOUR

  THIRTY-FIVE

  THIRTY-SIX

  THIRTY-SEVEN

  THIRTY-EIGHT

  THIRTY-NINE

  EPILOGUE (JULIAN)

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  THANK YOU

  PREVIEW OF JAMISON

  “I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity, and her flaming self respect. And it's these things I'd believe in, even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn't all she should be. I love her and it is the beginning of everything.”

  ― F. Scott Fitzgerald

  JULIAN

  Twenty-four years. Twenty-four short, short years. I’d have given anything for a lifetime with her, but certain things were beyond my control. I couldn’t control that just as my life was finally given meaning, it was taken away, I couldn’t control the fact that I met the love of my life months before I was to take my very last breath, and I couldn’t control the fact that I had to leave her broken-hearted and devastated, picking up the pieces of our shattered dreams.

  I knew the day would come when I would no longer be able to kiss her sweet lips, drink in the scent of her soft skin, or feel the way her hair slipped so gently between my fingertips. The idea of Evie waking up each day with no one to kiss her good morning or tell her how beautiful she looked in the shimmering sunlight weighed so heavy on my heart that I knew exactly what I needed to do.

  There was only one man who could love her the way I did: uncompromising, unconditionally, and unrelenting. And there was only one man who was worthy of Evie’s love. So I did what a dying man does when he knows his days are numbered: I contacted my older brother and asked him for a favor.

  JUDE

  “Wh-who are you?” she stammered, red-faced and puffy-eyed as she finger-combed her dark, disheveled hair into place.

  I stuffed the paper into my leather jacket, suddenly realizing Julian had never told her about me before. Her bleary-eyed gaze washed over me in as she clutched her chest. We looked eerily alike, my brother and me, and I could only imagine how difficult it was for her to see me standing before her the night of his funeral.

  “I’m Jude,” I said. “Jude Garner-Willoughby.”

  I raked my fingers through my chocolate brown hair, the very same hair I shared with my younger brother, and softened my hazel eyes in her direction.

  Evie stood in silence as she braced herself against her door. “I’m sorry. Are you a cousin, or something?”

  “Older brother,” I said. “May I come in?”

  She swung the door wide open and motioned toward the living room of her humble bungalow. Calling it a fixer-upper would’ve been giving it too much credit, but it was homey. Much cozier than the impenetrable brick walls of the Garner-Willoughby manse, that was for sure.

  My heavy shoes clomped on the rustic wood floors as I shuffled my way to the living room and sat on the sofa. This was going to be so fucking awkward.

  “You don’t have anything to drink, do you?” I asked. “Beer? Liquor?”

  She narrowed her eyes at me and hesitated before saying, “Wine. I have some wine.”

  “Wine works,” I said, taking a deep breath and leaning back onto the cushy leather. The entire car ride from California to Kansas gave me plenty of thinking time, but being face to face with my brother’s grieving widow changed everything I thought I knew, everything I thought I should say.

  She returned with two wine goblets filled to the brim with red wine.

  “I’m normally not a big drinker,” I said as I took a goblet out of her hand and proceeded to down it one gulp at a time. “I swear.”

  “Mm hm,” she said softly, clearly unconvinced. “It’s okay. I needed a drink, too.”

  “Honest,” I said, setting the empty goblet on the coffee table
. My eyes landed on a pair of my brother’s shoes resting next to the front door, perfectly aligned as if a ghost were standing in them. “This is just really weird for me. Being back here. Being in this town.”

  She nodded as she slowly sipped her wine and eyed me, staring like I was some sort of ghost.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, breaking her silence. “It’s just… I didn’t know he had a brother.”

  “Really? He never mentioned me?”

  “Nope,” she said, her gazed transfixed on me as if she were seeing an apparition of her late husband. “He pretty much implied that he was an only child. Or I guess I just assumed.”

  I laughed, cocking my head to the side. “I guess I sort of deserve that. I get it.”

  “Well, I don’t get it,” she huffed. “I’d love if you could fill me in.”

  “Evie,” I said, offering her a gentle smile. “There’s so much more than I could ever begin to tell you. Our family is so complicated—more than you could ever begin to imagine.”

  “I want to know everything,” she demanded, turning her entire body toward me.

  “There’s a reason he didn’t tell you everything,” I said. “I should probably respect his wishes, don’t you think? Maybe he didn’t tell you things as his way of protecting you.”

  “Maybe,” she said, shrinking back. She turned her face as if to hide the tears that were pooling in her ocean blue eyes. “Guess I’ll never know.”

  I scooted closer to her, instinctively wanting to put my arm around her, and then stopped. In the quiet stillness of that house, we were just two perfect strangers brought together by tragedy.

  She wiped her eyes. “So what do you want from me, Jude? Because I’m pretty sure I don’t have any money, if that’s what you’re after. Your mother has probably already wiped out all the bank accounts.”

  “Oh, I don’t want any money,” I said, laughing at her sudden directness. I placed my hand over my chest, drawing an “X.” “Swear.”

  “Then what is it??

  “Julian asked me to be here,” I said. “He sent me a letter and asked me to take care of you, should anything happen to him.”

  She drew her legs up onto the sofa, wrapping one arm around them as she chewed on the nails of her free hand. Her eyes focused on a random book lying on the coffee table. “So, let me get this straight: Julian didn’t talk about you. Didn’t tell me you existed. But he wants you to take care of me? Yeah. Right. Makes perfect sense.”

  I laughed at the absurdity of the situation, knowing full well there was no way to get around how completely insane this sounded. “I know it seems crazy, but I’ve got the letter right here.” I patted the left breast pocket of my jacket.

  “Let me see it.” She reached her hand out.

  “No can do. Julian asked me not to show you.”

  She rolled her eyes, still not buying any of it.

  “When did you move out of Halverford?” she asked. If it made her feel better to fish for information, I was going to be an open book. I just wasn’t going to show her the letter. Not yet.

  “When I was eighteen,” I began, “I left to go to UC-Davis. Never came back.”

  “How come?”

  “Would you want to come back to Halverford if you didn’t have to?”

  “My family’s here.” She shrugged. “It’s not that bad.”

  “Well, when your family is like mine,” I said, “sometimes it’s not worth coming back for.”

  “So, you just abandoned your sickly younger brother? Nice,” she said, her voice rampant with much-deserved sarcasm.

  “Julian was sixteen when I left. He wasn’t a kid. He could fend for himself. Plus I figured he’d be out of the house in two years,” I said, justifying my actions. “Unfortunately, he didn’t take it that well and stopped talking to me.”

  “Can’t say I blame him. Pretty shitty thing to do.” Evie’s face twisted into a scowl as she sipped her wine. “But then again, can’t say I blame you for wanting to get away from Caroline.”

  “Good old Caroline,” I said. She nailed it. I stretched my hands behind my head and settled in. “How’s that crazy broad doing these days?”

  “She hates me,” Evie said. “That’s about all I know. She thinks I married Julian because I thought I was going to inherit money. Couldn’t be further from the truth.”

  “Yeah, she is obsessed with her money,” I said. “That, and control.”

  “And your dad just lets her call the shots,” she continued, starting a mini rant. “He doesn’t even say anything, just lets her act like some crazy person.” Evie began to tremble, as if the mere mention of my mother sent her blood boiling.

  “Do you think she’d listen to him?” I asked. “He used to try, believe me. He just got tired of always losing those battles. Somewhere along the line, he just stopped fighting.”

  Evie shook her head. “I just blows my mind that he’d stay with her all this time.”

  “All the money is Garner money,” I said, “not Willoughby money. He’d be left with nothing. He loves material things too much to let that happen. Have you ever seen the man’s car collection?”

  She nodded as a faint smile crossed her full lips. It disappeared just as quickly as it had arrived, as if I’d briefly reminded her of something.

  An awkward silence filled the space between us until Evie got up and grabbed our empty wine goblets. Her body swayed a bit and she had to lean over and grab the arm of the sofa.

  “Whoa,” she said as she steadied herself.

  “Need help?” I asked as I began to get up.

  “No, it’s okay,” she assured me, bringing herself into an upright position before swaying her way to the kitchen. Running water and clinking glass told me she was rinsing the goblets. Perhaps she needed to step away from me for a bit.

  A stack of leather bound books rested neatly on top of the coffee table, and I knew they were Julian’s. I grabbed the top one and began thumbing through it, reading the very same pages my brother had once read until Evie came back into the room.

  “This was one of his favorite books as a kid,” I said, shutting the cover and rubbing the palm of my hand over the embossed title. “A Wrinkle In Time.”

  She smiled as she sat back down next to him.

  “I taught him how to read,” I said with a bittersweet smile. Evie said nothing as she watched me put the book right back where I’d found it. “This is really awkward, but do you mind if I stay here tonight? I’ve been driving all day, and I’m spent. I could sleep on the couch.”

  “You’re Julian’s brother,” she said without pause. “Of course it’s okay.”

  She stood up, shuffling her way to a hall closet and returning with a stack of clean linens and a pillow and setting them neatly on the edge of the couch.

  Evie glanced at the watch on her wrist, her eyes fatigued and swollen. “I hope you don’t mind. I’m going to go to bed now. It’s been a really long day.”

  “Of course,” I said.

  “Goodnight, Jude,” she said, offering the smallest half-smile I’d ever seen.

  “Evie,” I called after her as she walked down the hall.

  “Yeah?”

  “Thanks for letting me crash here tonight.”

  “That’s what family does.”

  EVIE

  A light rapping on my door woke me that morning.

  “Evie?” a man’s voice called from the other side of the door. It was him. I’d completely forgotten for a moment that there was a strange man staying in my house.

  I pried my sore, swollen eyelids apart, and my eyes burned like fire the second the sun hit them. I attempted to read the alarm clock on the nightstand, but my blurry vision would only make out the first number. A seven.

  “Evie?” he called again, knocking again.

  I’d hoped to sleep in that day. The more time I spent dreaming, the less time I’d spend mourning Julian, and the less hours I had to spend in a world without him, the better.

 
I dragged myself out from beneath the warm covers and shuffled to the door, pulling it open. “Yes?”

  We were mere inches apart, me and Jude, and the way the top of my head lined perfectly with his mouth was nearly identical to the way I lined up with Julian. Jude’s chocolate brown hair was neatly combed over, parted on the side the way Julian always did his.

  “Wanna go out for breakfast?” he asked, unusually chipper for someone up so early. “I’m starving. My treat.”

  “Is that why you’re knocking on my door at seven in the morning?” I groaned.

  “Yeah,” he said, flashing a smile full of perfect, straight white teeth that were once again identical to Julian’s. “Your cupboards are empty. Hope you don’t mind that I already checked.”

  I stared at his mouth as he spoke, watching his full lips move and briefly wondering if kissing them would feel like kissing Julian.

  “Why you looking at me like that?”

  “Sorry, sorry,” I said, waving him off. “Just thinking.”

  “I probably remind you of him, huh,” Jude said, his face twisting into a painful wince. He placed his hands on his hips and took a step back. “I’m sorry. It must be hard for you.”

  I shrugged and nodded, fighting back another wave of teary eyes. The tears seemed to come and go in random intervals, set off by just about anything that remotely reminded me of him.

  Jude changed the subject. “You look hungry. Let’s go.”

  “Give me two minutes,” I conceded, shutting the door in his face. I threw on a clean pair of yoga pants and a baggy sweatshirt of Julian’s before wrapping my hair into a top knot and making my way to the bathroom to freshen up.

  The girl staring back at me in the mirror looked strange and unfamiliar. Her eyelids were puffy and her cheeks were red. The corners of her mouth were pitifully paralyzed in the shape of a frown. I splashed cold water on my face before dabbing on a bit of makeup and calling it good enough.